Me and ADD

I've never been diagnosed with ADD, but I'm pretty sure I have it.  I am the Queen of Ping.  At any given time I have a virtual list going in my head of all of the things I need to do, the things I want to do, the things that just sound fun, things I'd like to learn how to do, things I forgot to do, things someone else wants me to do . . .

No lie.  My mind is a scary place.

I try to make lists for myself, but then I get distracted by something else, so I add it to the list so that I can finish it first (because it is what I want to be doing anyway), and then I can cross it off when I'm finished so that I feel like I did something on the list.

Are you following me?

Here is how my day normally goes.

Get up.  Make coffee.  Feed dog.  Check email.  Shower.  Check Facebook.  Start to write a blog post.  Remember that we are out of clean towels.  Start load of laundry.  Begin to fold clean load, but then remember that I needed to email (insert name here) about something, so quit folding laundry, head to office, send email, but then start reading new email, which reminds me that I need to work on my blog post.  During blog post, dog lets me know she needs to go out.  After taking her out, notice that kitchen needs to be cleaned.  Unload dishwasher.  Reload dishwasher.  Notice that the living room is a mess.  Start picking up living room.  Upon taking a pair of shoes that were in the middle of the living room floor back to the closet, notice that there are dirty clothes on the floor.  Pick those up to take to the laundry room.  Notice that the cat box needs to be scooped; do that.  After that, come back in the house from taking garbage out (because no one wants to smell cat little left in the garbage), and stand in the middle of the living room thinking, "Where was I?"

This goes on all.  day.  long.  I do manage to finish certain things every day, like cleaning the kitchen, but that is only because I like to eat and I know that, in order to make dinner, the kitchen needs to be cleaned.  Laundry never gets completely finished because, by the time I remember to finish what I started, there is just as much dirty laundry that needs to be washed.  I finish blog posts, but that is only because I can't stand to get rolling on a post and then get up in the middle, so once I get far enough into it and have my Writing Groove going, I ignore everything else until I'm done.  But the living room never gets completely picked up.  The rest of the house is pretty much the same.  It only gets completely cleaned when I know someone is coming over.

And all of that is just the stuff in my house that I am ADD about.  There are things for the squadron, specifically for the spouses, that I want to do.  They've been on the "want to do" list for months now.  But I haven't done them yet.  Same goes for my jewelry stuff.  I get on a roll with that occasionally and get tons of things made really fast.  Then I go for a few weeks without doing anything.  Writing my book?  Well, that's been on the list of things to do for years now.

I'm sure there are ways I can fix this.  Mike has tried for years to get me to use a calendar and write down not just what I want to get done in a day, but block off specific times to do it.

:::shiver:::

Just the thought of scheduling my time that rigidly makes me want to burst into tears.  It amazes me that I used to work 40 hours a week and was actually very efficient at what I did.  I don't know where that Shannon went, but she is long gone!  It almost seems like I've become some carefree, granola, Birkenstock-wearing hippie who just flows through life, but that isn't true either.  The fact that there are so many things needing to be done, but that I'm not getting done, makes me crazy.

Yet tomorrow, when  I get out of bed, I'll be bouncing around like a pinball again.  It's what I do.

Sigh.